Why am I doing this?

 

Last year, at the beginning of January, I had a ‘Major’ breakdown.

 

Although I have been a functional depressant for 20 + years, 2016 was the worst and best year of my life.

 

Finally, at the age of 55 I let go. There was no more hiding. I had to be honest with myself and it's not as easy as it sounds. Luckily, I had the support of my 2 daughters.  My eldest was prepared to do what she felt I needed, my youngest was very honest and I thank her for that. Something I could not face to do with my mum or brothers. Funny how history repeats itself.

 

In hindsight, I have been swimming upstream with these internal problems since the age of 3 and am still in "work in progress" mode.

 

Part of my recovery is that I would like to help people who feel in a similar situation. I don’t want to tell you what to do, as we are all different, but I want to let you know what is working for me.

 

I had to slowly put things in place and there was a lot of  "two steps forward and one step back" happening. Now I have started my own "Social Enterprise Project" where all the profits will be re-invested into it and hope to open a "Real" community café.

 

I have grand plans and it feels a bit "pie in the sky", but it’s my purpose in life and it’s now a way of life for me.