Family & Friends
Continuous support from my daughter really has been a rock for me. It does appear there has been a role reversal, where I am the child. She has a partner with two kids & I am in awe with her strength & logical way at looking at life. One thing she said to me when I was very low & thought of giving up was, ‘I am not giving up on you, I am here for you’, ‘You need to be honest & ask for help’ & after a while she mentioned ‘your grandchildren really love seeing you & that I have started to inspire her’. You see, it’s never too late.
I have two brothers older than me; we are not of the same ilk (more of that later). I have given up on my eldest brother; he just doesn’t seem to hear what I say & is very unkind & rude; but I do now understand where he is coming from. My second brother has had a stroke & we do have our differences, but we managed to talk out
a few & probably see each other about three times a year. You see in my book, I
feel you can’t choose your family & you don’t have to like them & I also found the saying ‘blood is thicker than water’ doesn’t apply with my family; this has a lot to
do with life circumstances & the biggest thing for me was accepting the situation. A
bit of a big one for me.
Friends – I do have some great friends; unfortunately for me I didn’t ask for their
support; I kept all my friends in life at arm’s length & conned them that I was ok. The great thing about honesty is that my inter-weaving of lies has stopped & my
reward is trust, support & extra energy. I have a regular friend coming over to stay
with me overnight every Wednesday. Just talking & explaining my problems made
me realise everyone is going through similar situations in a relative way. After
talking nonsense for a few weeks, I started to make sense & now I like to think we
help each other.
July 2017 update: I feel I have got closer with my eldest daughter & of course those lovely grand children give me great happiness & tired limbs. Cant wait for them to get a little bit bigger so we can play ball games. This really is a jump for joy situation. I try and see them at least once a week.
Friends do have there own lives and it's extremely difficult for them to give their
time, especially in these trying times. My one friend still stays with me once a week & helps me with my computer problems & designing my website. We found on a few occasions, talking things out, listening to music & not watching TV definitely makes things happen. He's also going to help me put my menus & easy meals up for your information. He's my taster & gives me approval, so all of that to come.
My eldest daughters boys.
They are great. Just seeing them run around with joy really helps me. I cycle to the park & meet up & enjoy the day rain or shine. something I couldn't do a year ago. They used to visit me in the early days of my depressions & I used to get so exhausted. My daughter used to tell me the boys were singing my name as they went home. I suddenly realised I am enjoying the moment. Life is worth it. I feel like a little kid myself when I am with them. Utilizing London & off to the science museum with them this weekend. I remember going to the museum in the early 70's & going wow!! to automatic sliding doors. How time has changed. The museum is brilliant, something for all ages. The staff are so patient. And its all free!!!!!!